23 years …

This year is my 23rd year of living. Ever since I was young I was being protected by my parents, my family, my brother and sisters. Without them, I won’t be sitting down here writing all these. Till when I was studying in UK, even so, my cousins and sisters was there with me. I don’t feel as much homesick as my friends cause I know I always have my family around me. Tho, I was left alone in my final year, but I went back quite often to my hometown during the year. I started dating when I was 22nd thinking that I have to be out of the comfort zone and start something different in my life. Everything seems so fresh and new to me. From there, I learned to grow up, be independent, and understand more. Being in a relationship is not something that anyone can help you, you are all by yourself. Friends might give you advises but the final decision is still up to you. Things may not be as smooth as you hoped for, cause the way you treated him/her may not be the same as how him/her treat you back. You guys might argue, cry, sad, and emotional but what’s really important is that you must not hurt each other. I realised that, life is not a fairytale, there’s no Prince Charming and no planned plan. Everything is so fragile and impromtu, never plan your date, never plan what you want to do with him, never expect him to do what you thought he will be doing, never expect him to read your minds, never expect promises can be kept, and never think you are the victim in the relationship and never change anyone cause no one can be changed. Whatever happens is what you have chosen, you must not blame anyone for what happened. In order to gained something you must risk something. This is life. Live with it, if you are not happy with it find ways to make yourself happy, convince yourself to be happy, don’t be stubborn.

i just.. i told him how i was afraid and skeptical about falling in love, and then he was there for awhile, doing his best to convince me otherways, that he would be there, and now he's lost interest in me. maybe because of this fear that i have he decided to give up on me? i would've been fine had he stayed caring as a friend but to suddenly be so cold. :(



falling in love is a definetely new feeling and you’ll get to experience it’s beauty when you’re ready, and there are lots of other people that don’t believe in it/aren’t ready for it and it’s ok not to, but as humans, we all experience those feelings in a different way and pace. love for some people might be the feeling they get when their pet cuddles with them, or for others love might be buying something they really want.

my point is not to feel bad about it and that you’ll find the right person that will change the way you think about love when u least expect it…don’t think to much about it, even less that guy that didn’t know to tolerate your ways of thinking. with time you’ll surely forget him like you forget what you ate on this same day a year ago :)

Things just got worst ..

Don’t know can things be solve, trying to be strong and takes whatever that is going to come to me seems like a better way. Never ever thought that all these will come, never thought that actually I’m this kind of person.